A Couple's Guide to Talking About Sex

Debra Fileta and I noticed that it's often easier for couples to engage in physical intimacy than to talk about it. But talking about it takes that level of intimacy to a much higher level. It can also forestall some frustrations and disappointments. And it's so helpful to get expectations out there so that they can be discussed. This week's post is a guide that Debra put together to help married couples learn how to talk about sex. This is "counselor Debra" at her best: informed, practical, and empathetic. Many couples will have a romantic time tonight (Valentine's Day), but you can grow your marriage by leaps and bounds if, beginning tomorrow, you start talking about what happened the night before. 

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Let’s talk about sex.

If you’re reading this guide, there’s a good chance you are ready for that conversation. From our experience, it’s not uncommon for couples to feel a level of discomfort when it comes to talking about their sex life and their level of sexual satisfaction. Sex is something so many married people engage in, yet so few married people take the time to talk about in detail. But in order to get better we have to have a specific purpose and plan. We have to get on the same page and understand one another’s perspective.

We hope this guide will serve you as a conversation starter for your sex life. Read through the entire guide first, and then plan a time this week to sit down and talk through one topic relating to your sex life.