Helping Wives Awaken to Intimate Pleasure

We have an all-star panel this week to discuss a crucial issue for Christian couples. How does a woman awaken to sexual fulfillment and pleasure after years of telling herself “No”? And what can a husband do to help her achieve this fulfillment? What can the wife do for herself?

We’re going to ask three experienced counselors how husbands can help awaken their wives to sexual pleasure from two angles: if the wife has waited until marriage but now feels a lingering guilt over experiencing sexual pleasure; secondly, we’ll look at the difference a biblical view of sexuality makes if someone was very active sexually before they got married, and perhaps that’s negatively impacting their sexual relationship with their spouse now.

We’re approaching this from the perspective that the Bible’s message is beautiful and clear: sexual expression is reserved for marriage. But we all haven’t followed that pattern, and even those who have recognize the challenges of turning on the on switch after years of telling ourselves to just say no.

I heard Dr. Juli Slattery do a beautiful job defending the biblical position when she added, off-handedly, that part of the challenge is that husbands aren’t ever told how to help their wives awaken sexually.

It's not that the message of waiting until marriage to become sexually active is wrong, but it’s also true that the message of waiting needs more follow-up. That’s what’s been missing in this debate, and that’s what I think these three women can address.

Dr. Juli Slattery is a clinical psychologist, author, speaker and the president/co-founder of Authentic Intimacy. She has authored twelve books and is a host of the weekly podcast “Java with Juli.”

Debra Fileta is a faith-forward licensed professional counselor, author of 7 books, and creator of the #1 faith-based relationship advice blog True Love Dates. She also hosts the Debra Fileta Podcast and is founder of the Debra Fileta Counselors Network.

Belah Rose is author of Delight Your Husband (and a new pre-wedding workbook) and founder of the ministry Delight Your Marriage. Her ministry works with couples to help them reconnect. She also hosts the Delight Your Marriage podcast.

Each one of these women could easily carry a show on their own, so it was extremely generous of them to join together to share their wisdom about a topic that doesn't get a lot of attention. Pour yourself a cup of tea, listen with your spouse, and clear an hour to hear a very helpful conversation. Regardless of how long you've been married, or what your activities were before or after marriage, you'll find something helpful here to talk about and explore.