Show Me the Wonders of Your Great Love

Two truths carry me as I get older: knowing that (only in Christ, of course) I'm good enough for God, and secondly, that God is good enough for me. Divine affirmation is an essential component for someone who wants to serve God. We will be mocked, challenged and ignored, but divine affirmation lifts us to a place of courageous service and sweet peace. The second part, that God is good enough for me, is essential to avoid the allure of sin, the idolatry of family, the need for recognition, and concerns about daily provision. 

I hope to combine these two into a book someday, but perhaps you all will think this isn't really a book. At any rate, can I try some of it out on you? Please let me know, does this resonate with you? Is it just me? I'd love to get your feedback here. I won't run potential chapters back to back to back; rather, I'm planning on posting maybe one a month. If you enjoy this approach, there's more to come. If you don't, hopefully you'll connect with other posts around it. 

If you're reading this introduction and can't afford to subscribe (this month it's just $40 for an annual subscription), but you think you need to read this, please email alli@garythomas.com and we'll set you up for a complimentary subscription. The subscription just offers an opportunity for those who are able to support the readership of all those who aren't, but it's not meant to be exclusionary. A huge thank you to those who support this work.

---

“Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you.”

Psalm 63:3

Dan Carroll grew up in an abusive home with an alcoholic mom who cycled him through eight elementary schools in a desperate but vain attempt to straighten him out. When he turned eight, she dropped him off at a strict military school.

To be fair, Dan’s mom was a deeply troubled woman who tried to commit suicide twice: once with her head in the oven and once by slitting her wrists. Dan’s dad was a believer, but given his troubled wife, he thought military school might be the best option to get Dan out of a dysfunctional house.

Dan hated the military school and soon fled into the surrounding foothills of California. He called his mom, begging her to let him come home. She promised Dan that if he returned home she wouldn’t take him back to the military school but that was a lie. As soon as Dan returned, she drove him back to the school.

Colonel Harding, the headmaster for whom the school was named, was waiting outside when Dan’s mom pulled up. As soon as Dan’s mom got out of the car, Dan, feeling egregiously betrayed, locked the doors and began screaming the “F” word at his mom. 

Colonel Harding heard the yelling and took over. He threatened Dan until he got out of the car, then drug him into his office and repeatedly hit Dan in the face with his fists until Dan stopped yelling and agreed to apologize to his mom.

Once Dan’s mom drove away, Colonel Harding forced Dan—an eight-year-old, remember—to march for five hours in the hot California sun carrying a real M1 rifle.

I imagine (and sincerely hope) it wasn’t loaded.

Dan learned early on that life was about trying to survive. The thought of thriving, the concept of living an abundant life, was understandably foreign to him. So he did what many people do when they’re simply trying to cope. He found narcotic diversions.

At twelve, Dan began sniffing glue. At thirteen, he started breaking into other homes and even stealing cars to support a growing drug habit. He went to jail five times while he was still a minor.

Dan didn’t want to live this way; he was just so angry and felt so rejected he didn’t know how else to act. Late in high school, he met a Christian girl who gave him a Good News for Modern Man Bible. This translation was designed in the late sixties to be reader-friendly with what were then modern-looking stick drawings, unlike any other Bible that had been published.

Dan sat in his room smoking dope and reading the New Testament. It captivated him enough that he eventually stopped smoking dope and just read the Bible. He asked the girl who had given it to him what was going on when he felt God’s presence coming into the room, and she explained about Jesus’ love, his sacrifice on the cross, and his resurrection. Eventually, Dan slid to his knees and started weeping. “God, I don’t know who you are, but I know you are here. And I also don’t know if I’ve ever felt loved, but if you will love me, I will yield my life to you.”