That Look

Something that happened after the recent election caught my eye. While being introduced by President Trump as our nation's next vice president, Usha Vance gave her husband J.D. a look that every man pines for. Wives, this is what that look looks like, why such a look matters, and what it can do for your marriage. 

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I challenge husbands far more often than I challenge wives in this Substack, which I think follows the apostle Paul’s pattern of putting the ultimate challenge on men (that whole “Love your wives like Christ loved the church, who gave himself up for her” thing). But as a pastor, I work with so many men who pour themselves out for their families, often getting little recognition or appreciation. No need for us to complain, men: loving our families is our job and a servant shouldn’t expect thanks (Luke 17:9). But I wish wives knew how even a little gesture can mean so much to a man. One man told me, “When my wife compliments me, I can live on that compliment for months.”

Not hours. Not days. Not weeks. Months.

So, when Trump was giving his victory speech and introduced our country’s future vice president, I was struck by the way Usha Vance, J.D.’s wife, looked at him. Wives, I’m telling you, every husband wishes that once, just once, he’d get a look like this from his wife:

Donald Trump Introduces JD Vance As His Vice President During His Victory Speech | N18G | CNBC TV18

A husband could live a lifetime on a cherishing look like that. Admittedly, I and your husband will never be elected to be second-in-command to the highest office in the world, but hey, most husbands are trying to be all that they are capable of being. Yeah, I know there are negative exceptions, but if your husband isn’t one of them, one look like this could go a long way toward making your husband feel cherished.

It’s Christmas movie season on Hallmark, so some of you are going to be filling up on that fare. One thing you’ll see in almost every one of those movies is the moment when, after the couple is close to getting together, the woman comes out in a formal gown, or a nice dress, and the guy looks at her and just says “Wow.”  Wives, when your husband is working hard at being a good provider, husband, father, and Christian, it’s like he’s standing at the top of the staircase and once, just once, he’d like to get a “Wow.”

Tucker Carlson said that one of the reasons he pushed Trump to nominate Vance for vice president was that Vance had one of the only good marriages in Washington D.C. that he had ever seen. Looks like J.D. and Usha are a team, and when you know J.D.’s background (Hillbilly Elegy), you’ll see what I’ve been saying for years: a cherishing marriage brings out the best in us.

Cherish