11 Comments
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CBE's avatar

Very helpful for spouses who respond with noticeable frustration. I would add or supplement something for spouses who internalize the frustration without sharing it. Maybe the "S" could include, "Say something with the right words and attitude ". Frustrations cannot be resolved if one of the spouses is unaware.

ApparentBliss's avatar

Thank you for this Gary

Cindy David's avatar

Thank you for sharing this, Gary. I've passed on this 'When I stumble, you STAND" (and vice-versa) strategy to my daughters who are about to serve at a Christian camp this week, and they're so thankful. I'm going to share this video with my husband, too. I write devotionals and I'm thinking of sharing this with my readers. I promise to mention Charlotte's name, your book Cherish, and the story of you losing your keys. :-)

Gary Thomas's avatar

Thank you Cindy!

Andi Dawes's avatar

This was truly excellent.

The Romantic Vineyard's avatar

This is excellent. Thank you for sharing this helpful acronym.

Jennifer J Schwirzer's avatar

Super great tool. I made a document out of it. Can I share, giving you credit? What names should I use?

Gary Thomas's avatar

Wonderful Jennifer! Please credit Charlotte Hillman, based on the book Cherish by Gary Thomas.

The Emmaus Road's avatar

This is good. One similar concept that has helped me is "The Valley of Decision" - this is the idea that when I am in a frustrating situation and am tempted to respond with anger or impatience I take a deep breath, pause, and enter The Valley of Decision in which I allow my emotions to drop to the background and ask the Spirit of God to help me to respond in a godly manner. This puts some space between the triggering situation and my unfiltered, gut-level response, and creates room for God to step in and help me to respond with wisdom and grace. (hopefully).

Gary Thomas's avatar

Love this. And it's thoroughly biblical: "Be slow to speak..." Thank you for sharing it