Using the Five Senses to Enhance Physical Intimacy, Part 2

Last week we shared an excerpt from my book with Debra Fileta, Married Sex: A Christian Couple’s Guide to Reimagining Your Love Life. Valentine’s Day is getting close, and enjoying a “gourmet” marital experience can require some planning and forethought, so we’re trying to anticipate the famous holiday and give you time to prepare.

This week we address the final two senses: sight and smell. Fair warning (repeated from last week): because we interviewed and polled many couples to gather creative ideas to enhance marital lovemaking, this chapter is explicit in its discussion of sexual intimacy. If that’s not to your liking, we’ll get back to other topics next week; feel free to skip this one!

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Sight

“[He:] How beautiful you are, my darling! Oh, how beautiful! Your eyes are doves.

[She:] How handsome you are, my beloved!” (Song of Songs 1:15–16)

In an earlier chapter we talked extensively about the importance of sight to men, but sight can also mean a lot to wives. So, men, if there are clothes that make you more or less attractive to your wife, what better reason do you need to wear them or get rid of them accordingly? I used to resist this until I realized that if something I wear makes my wife warm up to me, and something else makes her less attracted to me, why would I fight to keep that old shirt? (Unless it’s a Boston Marathon finisher shirt; those should never be thrown away.)