Why Parental Pain Is Often Worse for Christian Parents

There are overwhelming blessings of being a Christian while raising your children. We have hope, joy, and gratitude, and trust in the God we worship. I couldn't even imagine raising children outside of faith. But let's be honest: Christian parents often have a higher level of pain and even fear because we are Christians and we care so much about our children's faith. This doesn't get talked about enough, so let's discuss it here. 

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On his way to the cross, Jesus foretold a time when sorrow would be greater for parents: “For the time will come when you will say, ‘Blessed are the childless women, the wombs that never bore and the breasts that never nursed!’” (Luke 23:29). When times go bad, the blessing of children can start to feel like a curse.

While Jesus warns that parenting can increase your pain, I would add that being a Christian parent can exacerbate that pain even further. Why? Our kids could be shining examples in the world’s eyes—financially successful, seemingly happy, healthy, well-employed, and living in good neighborhoods—but a Christian’s first concern is for their children’s spiritual welfare. The desire for our children’s eternal good and happiness can take over our hearts, eclipsing all else. It's natural for Christian parents to feel this way, but it also puts us at peril.

There’s a man I know who has a huge influence for all the right reasons. I love the guy. He wields tremendous spiritual influence somewhat behind the scenes. He’s one of the gentlest, most pleasant people I’ve met: loving, gracious, and winsome. God has used him powerfully, however, and I believe he’s one of the saints who will be praised for his willingness to serve the way he has served. Yet this man of integrity also lives with a hurting heart. “Gary,” he told me, “I have five children, and if I’m honest, none of them are actively serving the Lord. Two want nothing to do with God, one is apathetic toward Jesus and church, and the other two are nominal church attenders at best.”

None of his children have been to jail; none are addicts. But the fact that they are not active worshippers brings daily sorrow to his heart.