You're Not a Fool to Keep Hoping, Part 1

Parents who are heartbroken over their adult children's choices need to learn how to hope. Biblical hope is a learned skill, based on the history, character, and promises of God. It's vital for your soul to learn how to hope. You may not have an issue with any adult children, but hope as a learned skill can soothe the souls of those facing chronic illnesses, financial struggles, you name it. So we're going to take three weeks to excerpt one of the longer chapters from my book in progress, "When Christian Parents Hurt." As this is a work in progress, your comments are most welcome.

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“Prayers are answered even after we’re gone.” Ruth Bell Graham

I’ve grown to love so much about Colorado since I moved here in 2022: the mountain views are spectacular; the sunrises and sunsets are consistently works of astronomical art; the trails and rivers offer miles of exploration and delight.

But it can get cold. Having lived in Texas for over a decade prior to moving here, our first winter was a wake-up call. Granted, statistics said it was the coldest winter in Denver in over thirty years, so I’m holding on to the fact that it wasn’t the norm. Late in the fall, I purchased a coat from a popular outdoor clothing company that promised to keep me warm up to five degrees below zero. I was skeptical when the coat arrived because it felt about as thick as two-ply toilet paper. Turns out, I was right to be skeptical—I was shivering in that coat when it was just forty degrees outside.

I went to the Castle Rock outlet mall and found a much heavier coat that was on sale. When I wrapped that coat around me, I didn’t just feel warm; I felt hugged. I went back outside and laughed at the cold and learned a very valuable lesson about life in Colorado: it’s not about the cold; it’s about the coat. If you’ve got the right coat, the cold can’t get in.

Parenting in a fallen world can sometimes feel like living in a perpetual winter. As a spiritual climate, this is a cold world that seems to be getting increasingly colder. Have you felt it? You’re not appreciated. Bad people often win, while the good people seem to lose. Just about every parent I know laments that they felt forced to talk about sensitive issues with their young children much sooner than they would have preferred, but knew it was no longer safe to delay the conversation. Evil is called good and good is called evil. People can be really mean, and even loved ones can be apathetic. We’re all just trying to survive the winter.

If we don’t find a spiritual antidote to living in a cold world, we will become spiritually cold ourselves. The symptoms of spiritual coldness:

o Negativity

o A lack of joy

o Becoming increasingly cynical

o Frequently feeling sorry for yourself

o Thinking the worst of others

o A lack of gratitude for what we do have

o A complaining spirit

It’s hard not to grumble when you’re cold. But when you put on God’s warm spiritual coat, the cold needn’t define you. On the contrary, you begin to exhibit the symptoms of spiritual warmth:

o You will have joy

o You will have peace

o You will be encouraging

o You will be thankful and worshipful

o You’ll enjoy your relationships more

o There will be a lightness in your steps

o You’ll feel refreshed at the start of the day

The “warm spiritual coat” that God offers is what the Bible calls hope. Unfortunately, hope may be the most misunderstood theological term of our day, in large part because popular culture defines it as “wishful thinking,” which is almost the exact opposite of what the Bible means when it uses the word hope. Hope is an essential skill to adopt when addressing your past parenting and your current relationship with adult children.