Did you know that the demographic most likely to commit suicide in the United States is white men over the age of 50? That may not fit the narrative of those who have other agendas, but it should alert us to be sensitive to a growing group of men who feel like they have no advocates and little empathy from pastors. After reading my post Revisiting Enough is Enough, a husband in a difficult marriage sent a thoughtful email asking me if I'd "flip" the advice for men, and then point blank asked, are you more difficult on men than women? Historically, I think I have been, but I also think there's a reason for that, which I explain in this interview with the husband. Still, I wanted to give him a platform to state his case, that while the majority of the time we do need to call men to account, that narrative is changing and we have to admit that some men are married to very difficult wives. I still don't think the same "rules" necessarily apply to men who want to seek divorce--and I explain why in this interview.
I know many women are still so hurt and even traumatized from being married to truly abusive husbands. If that's you, I'd recommend you not listen to this one. Saying some women caused the downfall of their marriage isn't to suggest that you did, and I don't want you to think for a second that I'm blaming or accusing you or doubting what you endured. This interview is in fact geared more toward men who want to hear another man speak up on their behalf and say, "It's not always your fault," as well as to ministry leaders to remind them that always blaming the husband with words like "What are you doing to cause her to act that way," something I hope no pastor would ever say to a wife (though many have in the past), is something we need to be sensitive to when talking to men as well.
A Husband Pushes Back Against Enough Is Enough: Am I Harder on Men Than Women?